Preachers' got it rough

If he is young, he lacks experience;
if his hair is grey, he is too old;
if he has five or six children, he has too many;
if he has none, he is setting a bad example.
If his wife sings in the choir, she is being forward;
if she does not, she is not interested in her husband’s work.
If he speaks from notes, he has canned sermons and is dry;
if he is extemporaneous, he is not deep.
If he spends too much time in his study, he neglects his people;
if he is visible, he is a gadabout.
If he is attentive to the poor, he is playing to the grandstand;
if to the wealthy, he is trying to be an aristocrat.
If he suggests improvements for the church, he is a dictator;
if he makes no suggestion, he is a figurehead.
If he uses too many illustrations, he neglects the Bible; if not enough, he is not clear.
If he condemns wrong, he is cranky; if he does not, he is a compromiser.
If he preaches the truth, he is offensive; if not, he is a hypocrite.
If he preaches an hour, he is windy; if less, he is lazy.
If he fails to please everybody, he is hurting the Church; if he does please everybody, he has no convictions.
If he preaches tithing, he is a moneygrabber; if he does not, he is failing to develop his people.
If he receives a large salary, he is mercenary; if a small salary, it proves he is not worth much.
If he preaches all the time, the people get tired of hearing one man; if he invites guest preachers, he is shirking responsibility.
SO WHAT! They say the preacher has it rough.